Friday 28 February 2014

Party at Thatcher's?

A trip to Grantham beckons tomorrow, again following the super Blues, Whitby Town. But, what is Grantham famous for? Well, a number of things as it happens. There's the Gingerbread for a start, but I'm about to ruin it for you... I'll tell you something that may put you off for a long time. It's the birthplace of a certain ex-Prime Minister. The 'Iron Lady' herself, Margaret Thatcher...

This could provide issue for a few travelling fans. The fact that, up here in t'North, we don't really like her too much is in issue in itself. In fact, in certain areas, her death was celebrated rather than mourned, with songs such as 'Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead' racing up the charts. A mark of respect? Hell no, but that's the kind of woman she was to many in this part of the country. I personally didn't celebrate her death. I can only listen to stories of what she did, so I can't really judge, but, I can only assume she wasn't the nicest person ever, going by the reaction in the North...
The "Iron Lady" - The least popular person ever in the North...
Grantham's ground, in itself, isn't a place I like. I'm really not keen on the running track around the pitch, and the number of chavs roaming about the place. In fact, the calibre of the ground itself is summed up by a news article from a couple of years ago, that detailed the fact that a dead body had been found at the ground. So, a running track, chavs, and a dead body. What could possibly go wrong? I just want to win, and to get out of there. Just a simple ask, I feel. Don't even get me started on Jamie Jackson...
The theatre of running, chavs and dead bodies... Such fun.
I'm going to cut myself off here tonight. In all honesty, I'd say tonight saw the worst game of football I've played in my life. My mind was elsewhere, and it showed. Two things I need at the moment... Focus and confidence... And, well, I have neither at the minute. Hence the poor performance, and yet more bottling... Here's a different milk bottle or 8 this time... Shake things up a bit...
Numerous occasions of bottling...
Until the next time (I promise not to moan... Well, I'll try not to...),
Paul

Thursday 27 February 2014

UU14?

Ultras are becoming something of a regular fixture in the professional game, but what about in Non-League? Well, North Shields have their Ultras, but other than that, you don't see many groups in Non-League. I wonder if Whitby Town are about to jump on this Ultras bandwagon...

The Ultras movement is widely linked to Italy, but in recent seasons, it has spread all over Europe. When I was in Fürth (In Germany, for those who don't know) at the Heinrich Böll Schule, there was a strong presence for the Eintracht Frankfurt Ultras, even if the presence wasn't in person. All over the outside walls of the school I saw 'UF97' (Ultras-Franfurt 1997) spray-painted. At first, I was oblivious to the fact it had anything to do with Ultras, until one of the German teachers explained it to me. To think, you wouldn't see that at Whitby Community College, even if the Ultras movement got going. Just imagine KP's face if he saw UU14 sprayed all over the walls... It would be interesting to see...
UF97 in full voice...
The truth is, Blyth away on Easter Monday will be the telling point as to whether the Upgang Ultras get going. That will be the day we'd make ourselves known to the world. The Upgang Ultras flags would be out. The away end would be a sea of Blue, and the noise would be phenomenal. That's what we need for the Ultras, and that's what we need in the Shed for every home game. Whitby Town could really go places with such a backing, and it's up to us to make that a reality. Spread the word on this one. Blyth away, and the Upgang Ultras WILL be born! Up the Blues!
The Upgang Ultras... Coming to a ground near you...
I'll leave you with a nice video of Ajax Ultras...

Until next time,
Paul

Wednesday 26 February 2014

Never let Stevie loose with the kit designs...

Football kits. You're stuck with a particular one for the season. You can't change it until next season, and you have to bear a) grown men wearing it proudly whilst looking like morons and b) your team wearing it, week in, week out.

Luckily for Scotland, they probably won't be using their away effort too often. Mainly because they won't have too much need for it, but also because I can see players refusing to wear it. This attempt at a "football shirt" really is the worst I've seen for a very long time. You know those fruit salad sweets? Take one of those, and you've got Scotland's away shirt. They can just have independence now. I'm not keen on being associated with people wearing that... It really makes you wonder if they've let Stevie Wonder loose with the kit designs...
"Smile for the camera lads. It's only a joke, right?"
Another hideous effort is Leeds United's away kit this season, and the embarrassing thing here is, I actually bought it. The "gold" effort really wouldn't look out of place in your Gran's living room. I'll be honest, I really don't know why I bought it. I guess I thought it would look good with El-Hadji Diouf's name on the back, it's his kind of shirt I guess.
Even the players don't enjoy wearing it, as the 5 away wins suggest...
I saw today that Louis Tomlimson is due to make his debut for Doncaster Rovers in a reserve game. The ticket sales have "swelled" to 5,200 for the game, against Rotherham United's reserves. Doncaster have even produced a Matchday Programme... FOR A RESERVE GAME. All I will say is, one tackle, and we could see scenes similar to those below... I do feel sorry for Doncaster though, they'll have one hell of mess to clean up in the morning...
He cries when he wants...
Until next time,
Paul

Tuesday 25 February 2014

People just talk too much

Do you ever get the feeling that somebody just has too many opinions? I certainly do.

Whilst sat in English today, I had that exact feeling. One person, sat in front of me, giving an opinion on every little thing. I know it's good to have a voice, but when that voice is ever-so-slightly (VERY) grinding, it's maybe best to just be quiet, just for the sake of humanity. When you beat Piers Morgan on a scale for being a generally annoying person, you've done well...
"And I thought I was number one..."
On the flipside, I was told today that I don't talk enough... Well, I can't see how that is true, unless I'm in a situation where I'm with others that I don't know, or with certain other people, as a few of my friends will know. But, those reasons are generally for me to know.

I suppose in a way, I do have issues when it comes to talking to certain people. The simple reason for the problems is, I'm an absolute bottler. I never used to be, but for some reason, it's kind of developed as part of me. That annoys me. I genuinely used to be so self-confident, and now I just can't seem to be. I certainly need a confidence boost... It'll be better than my best friend hitting me every time I "bottle it"...
Perennial bottler... I just fancied using a picture of a milk bottle here, not sure why...
It's definitely time for an iPhone moan, now. With my S4 finally giving up on me yesterday, after the screen cracking a while back, I've temporarily using an iPhone. The only reason is because it's the only spare phone in the house that I can use Audioboo on, and the only that will take a microsim. All I will say is, the day my S4 is fixed, I will jump for joy. It's not that iPhones are confusing or anything, in fact, they're simple to use. It's the fact that a) they're too small, and b) they're just too thick. On top of that, the battery life is shocking, and it's much slower than my S4. I think I'll be sticking to Android phones for a while longer after this brief fling with Apple.
Nothing really beats an S4 when it comes to phones
Until next time,
Paul.

Monday 24 February 2014

If Aidan scores, we're on the pitch.

So, only 33 days until the official start of British Summertime. Don't worry, I use the word 'summertime' loosely. Only a short update tonight. Blame my phone for finally giving up on me. 

After such a good summer last year, it's nailed on to be an awful summer this year, to coincide with England's poor displays in various, crumbling, unfinished stadiums. As you can tell, I really am a glass half full kind of guy.

The reason I mention the unfinished stadiums is because I keep seeing them all over the news. Why choose these countries that are struggling to meet the criteria for a World Cup? How many countries across the world have the infrastructure in place? Just look at this country. A few minor changes and we're ready for a World Cup. Just don't rebuild Wembley again, we all know it won't be done on time... I'm still not convinced that it's finished now...
"Sorry it's not quite finished lads, just play round the cranes..."
Talking of glass half full, I was confident going into Norfolk 'N' Good's Mundial match tonight, mainly because we'd finally found a team worse than us in the Victoria Hotel. The Tangerines, our new, unofficial nickname, came out firmly on top, winning 4-1. In fact, I'm disappointed we conceded one, and quite frankly amazed that Aidan, the Football Mundial equivalent of Billy 'Barn Door' Paynter, scored for us. I think the world is going to implode, and very soon.
Billy, you have competition...
Until next time 'n' all that,
Paul

Saturday 22 February 2014

The moment when everything is ruined again

Taking the rough with the smooth. Life teaches you that you ought to do so. But when you're a football supporter, it's something that is tough to do.

This morning, I woke expectant of a Whitby win. We'd grown used to winning again. The feel good factor has been building up, and a trip to face Skelmersdale brought with it the optimism that we might just be the first team to win there this season. How wrong could I be?

A full bus. A rarity on Whitby away days!
The truth is, we really did play well. Yes, we didn't have a great amount of chances, but we were comfortable. Graeme Armstrong continued his lethal goalscoring form, netting his 23rd of the season. Not bad, right? Craig Farrell is also showing glimpses of getting back to his best, after scoring his third goal in 2 games. Positive signs right there. It wasn't all positive though, especially in the 87th minute. All afternoon we'd been giving away stupid free-kicks (the referee didn't help at times by giving the softer "fouls"), so it was only a matter of time before we were punished. When we were, it opened the floodgates. Tom Ince netted a beauty of a free-kick, although I feel Blandy could have done better with it. 2-2 led to 3-2, with substitute Ince playing a role again. With the wind taken totally out of our sails, 3-2 led to 4-2 and a feeling of shellshock... Or a feeling of being hit in the knackers by a Craig Farrell free-kick. Not nice. I won't dwell on the game anymore though, but what I will say is, the play-offs are still there for the taking, as Darren told me in his post-match interview. Onwards and upwards is the best way to look at it! As a final note on it, I'd like to thank Skelmersdale for their excellent hospitality. It's nice to go somewhere and have a laugh with the opposition fans.

Skelmersdale United. Not the best ground I've visited, but the natives were nice...
One bit of Northern League news that made me chuckle today was about ex-Whitby player, Leon Scott. When previewing the Darlington game today, the Northern Echo stated that Scott would not be included in Darlington's squad due to "modelling commitments". If that happened whilst he was with Whitby, the Shed would torture him. Maybe just say work commitments next time, Leon...
This, or football? Yeah, poor choice Leon.
On to the professional game, I avidly watched about 5 minutes of Middlesbrough-Leeds today with our chairman, a Boro supporter. Safe to say, neither of us were too impressed by the game, and promptly stopped watching. The game was summed up by a) Noel Hunt "playing" up front for Leeds, and b) Leeds not having a shot on target all game. Put two and two together on that one; you'll get four every time. Bring back Michael Ricketts, at least he gave us a laugh whilst being useless.
"Your dad's a Hunt, and so are you..."
A lot of complaining has taken place today about Whatsapp servers going down. All I will say is, it's a Facebook company now. Don't expect the world, you will be disappointed.

I don't particularly like Facebook, but unfortunately, it's a useful tool for me, which therefore means it's unlikely that I'll be deactivating it any time soon.. For instance, it helped me to get Paul 'Yakka' Pitman back into the Whitby Town public eye. Since my first contact, after finding him on Facebook, he has had numerous interviews for the club media section, and has even returned to the Turnbull, for the first time since leaving. If I hadn't found him on Facebook, he'd have remained without any contact with the club, and as the club's greatest ever player, that would have been a great shame. Next task, get David Campbell his testimonial, and get 'Yakka' back onto the hallowed Turnbull turf. I just want that one chance to see him play... A legend of the club, that I've never seen play!

The return of the Yack... It was all down to Facebook initially...

So, until next time, that's my lot.
Enjoy the late blog...
Paul

Friday 21 February 2014

No Brian McDermott

In the words of Del Boy, bonjour...

Today sees the start of my blog bouncebackability, and I really must start with a complaint at the fact Mozilla Firefox doesn't even recognise bouncebackability as a word. Do none of the developers watch Soccer AM? Lovejoy and Chamberlain fought hard for that word to be included in the dictionary, and Mozilla developers have just shunned it. Poor effort Mozilla.

Bouncebackability - The Soccer AM legacy in the Oxford English Dictionary

Flamingo Land will be an interesting place to be tonight. Leeds United are making the trip there, ahead of their game against Middlesbrough tomorrow. Tonight's event sees manager Brian McDermott taking part in a Q&A with supporters, and after the events of the past 3 weeks at Leeds United, I'm certainly intrigued to know what Brian thinks of the situation. Obviously, his position at the club means he can't say too much, but he's still going to have an opinion on everything that has gone on. If only I was going, seeing Brian McDermott explain the takeover situation to the ring-tailed Lemurs would certainly be interesting...

"And then this Cellino bloke turns up and sacks me. Boy that was bizarre..."
As a Leeds United fan, Brian McDermott has certainly captured my heart and mind. The manner in which he conducts himself during such a difficult time is admirable. He could have thrown the toys after the Deadline Day incident with Cellino. He could have walked away. But, he came back, and has since tried to build a relationship with Cellino himself. Massimo is even sending him some guitars over from Cagliari. They're building quite a relationship... Either that, or the guitars are a compensation package for the next time Cellino sacks him.

 
Brian's knocking on Cellino's door...

The Winter Olympics have certainly had me interested, with Team GB set to at least equal their record medal haul of 4. We're at a massive disadvantage in this country when it comes to the Winter Olympics, due to the fact that when it snows in this country, everything comes to a standstill. Across the world, you'll see countries just going about their daily business when it's snowing, but the first sign of snow here, and we instantly panic. Flights are cancelled, schools are closed, and all anybody does is sit inside, or throw snowballs at each other. I say, to give us a better chance of winning more gold medals, we introduce 'snowman building' and 'snowballing' as Olympic sports. I'm sure that these have been suggested many times jokingly, but I'm deadly serious here. The rules and criteria you would be judged on are as follows:
  • Snowman building - The quality of the snowman built. A number of independent judges check the positioning of the nose, eyes, mouth and buttons. They also check positioning of the arms, and see if they match in relation to each other. The roundness of each part of the snowman must also be checked. The rounder it is, the better your score.
  • Snowballing - Teams of 5, with 2 members getting 5 minutes to build defences before the main event. It'll be played in a knockout format, perhaps like that of the World Cup/Champions League etc. A group stage, followed swiftly by the knockouts. Technology similar to that used in Laser Tag is used to register the number of the hits. Hawkeye will also play a role (only because I like it, no other reason. My Olympic sport, my rules.), although I'm not sure how.
Watch this space. By 2018, I'm sure you'll be seeing these sports beamed into your living room, and you'll have me to thank for it.

Snowman Building - Coming to a Winter Olympics near you...
Until my next moan/Brian McDermott praising session,
Paul.